maybe by this time next year
© Rushmore Beekeepers, released October 22, 2004Written and recorded on four-track cassette at Dirt to Mud Studios between December 2002 and April 2003.
Parental advisory, I guess?
- All songs written and recorded by Zach Fountain
- Album art / design by Amanda Hawkins
Tracklist
- maybe by this time next year
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lyrics
maybe by this time next year
we’ll be having christmas together
maybe by this time next year
all your troubles will be gone
i know it’s hard to see any good
especially with the shit you’ve been through
and i know this won’t solve everything
but you know i would be good to you
and you know i ran out of the diner after i saw you
because i thought i might have something to say
and i wrote you a song
but it didn’t come out right anyway
so i’ll keep trying till i find something
i can sing while looking you in the eye
so darling let me kiss you and happy days
may be on their way for you and i - church lets out...
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church lets out on saturday night
i promised i’d see the play
but the love i feel hasn’t filled my heart with god
i’m content but i want more
and tonight i know at least i’m alive
and i’m waiting for you to come around
i’m wanting you to be around
i’m waiting for you to come around
because i have no faith
but my heart is overflowing with love - a year ago today
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i met you a year ago today
you reminded me
surprised that you remembered
brings some light into this poor boy’s life
that you might think something of me
sang songs for you a year ago
and i’m sure you have no idea
all the nice things, all those mean things i said
wish i could take back some of them
oh darling, i’ve heard your voice again
and it’s just enough to cheer me up again
oh darling, i’ve seen your face
and it’s just enough to know i’ve had too much
oh i’m doing okay again
things seem to be the way they were then
and i’ll write another album for you
and make sure you hear it this time
because maybe the songs will be nice
i just met a beautiful girl
and the cold winter wind don’t seem so cold anymore
can i call you tonight - someone i recognize
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she’s a fighter who knows what she’s doing
yes, i’m afraid she’s years ahead of me
i look at her and in her eyes
i see someone i recognize
the beautiful princess i hope
could someday be my wife
so beautiful to me, so wonderful to me
there were seas of mighty demons
and hills filled with robbers
and many fair maidens to protect everywhere
i’ve traveled many a mile to hear your answer
so please don’t turn me
back into the wind and the rain and the cold - my cowboy hat
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so nice to see you again at the party
you drank and we talked
and we danced until we fell onto the floor
then we went out onto the porch to cool off
and talk some more
i wanted to kiss you
but everyone came outside like we were the party
i still want to kiss you
but now that we’re alone i don’t know what to do
and i wanted to tell you, yeah, i wanted to
i’ve got my cowboy hat
thought it would impress you
but it’s still on my hat rack
thought about you going to sleep
and only got up this morning because you called me
i think of you and all the things that we might do
i still don’t know what to say
but maybe i will tell you today - from giving in to giving up
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sometimes i think maybe i shouldn’t look at people so closely
and just let this be as it is
you say a lot of things that could be nice
if you really mean them
and i wonder if you hear the things i say to you
when i say i want to be with you
and i hope you hear me and my inarticulate phrasing
and my awkward touches, that’s the way i’m praying
i want to stay with you and watch movies with you
and spend the night with you and wake up with you
but i want to leave tonight and not have to face you
and the things i will never tell
i want to leave tonight but i’d never forget
the things i gave up from giving in to giving up - with your truck door open
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days move so fast and we move so slow
i’m running out of time to let you know
one year wasted, three weeks of this
now it’s all hanging on today
and the possibility of a first kiss
we talk on the phone i’m full of anxiety
this is not my idea of the perfect time
so i’ll put it off till another day
and take another chance
on a love that can’t wait
we say goodnight outside of my apartment
in the cold with your truck door open
i tell you, i get half an answer
you like me
but you’re trying not to - one way mirror
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my tv is always off, the screen is black
it vaguely reflects me and the things in my show
can’t read the expression on my face
or see the color of my eyes
are they really mine, i don’t know
doesn’t matter how hard you try if you don’t succeed
you may have everything you want
but you’ll never have enough of what you need
we are insured to death
so we pay our dues and go to church
as if we believe in the good it will bring
everybody has an answer, it’s really cool to care
i find it hard to believe in anything
and i try hard to write something
that’ll make someone feel something
but i don’t know if anyone will ever hear me
and i tried to be someone but i gave up long ago
because i’ll never get hurt or hurt somebody if it’s just me
are we all stars in our own tv shows
or do i just hate myself so much i can’t see the screen
and i can see your sadness but i can’t do anything to help
it’s a one-way mirror
i wish i couldn’t see myself - performance art
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i thought of something to tell you but i forgot
i thought i’d give you a call but maybe not
thought i’d leave the words to “the shining” on your porch door
maybe then you’d remember me and that wonderful way we were
bettie serveert, beck, and badly drawn boy
these are the things i remember you by
and some cards and drawings
and a piece of art i stuck to my guitar
the days go fast since you are gone
still find it impossible to let myself move on
oh, and it’s almost a month
i should be out looking for someone else
but all the girls, they pale in comparison to you - gravity's my best friend
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i’d love to go to your house for dinner again
but that would mean we’d have to be friends
i wanted something more
and i still hope this could happen
i’ve seen the way you look at me
and when i’m singing i know you know i’m singing just to you
there are so many things to say
about trying to put to words what i want to say
and i just think it would be nice to give it another try
i could trim your hair
and we could sing songs together
and you could draw me pictures
and i could paint and cry a river just for you
i wish i could write something
to ease your troubled mind, darling
but i know it’s too late
the weather’s nice, i could walk to your house
but it would only be for the fresh air
gravity’s my best friend
he points out all the people on the ground
makes sure i see them
that’s where i should be
he tells me “that’s where you should be” - possibilities slip away
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i wish you could know
how happy it made me to see you today
and i’m just counting the minutes
till i see you again
and i wonder how i’ll behave then
and will i ever find the right thing to say
or will i let this possibility slip away - jacket weather
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you can turn off the porch light and turn up the stereo
take off your shoes because she’s not coming back
you can cry all you want and sing all you want
she won’t hear you, she’s all done with that
and you could say oh, oh, oh
wish you didn’t have to go
these streets are lined with the dreams
that i’ve always kept in my brain
and i just thought maybe if i didn’t do anything different
your feelings would never change
but here i am walking in the cold alone
on the way back from walking you home
she’s better off without me
wish i was all right without her
there’s a hole in my heart
where all the bad things go
it’s getting bigger every day
it’s full of the sweet things she told me
and words i wish i said i’d never say - brick and mortar
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were we the mistake i said i’d never make again
oh, because when i held your hand it was in such confidence
and i kissed you so that you knew you were loved
and everything was the way it should have been
you could hide your fears and smile and i may never know
or maybe you would become comfortable
but if you walk away, there’s only one direction we can go
never knowing what could have been
and i’m sitting in a room in las vegas
i should be out on the strip
but i’ve wanted to see you so bad these few days
i’m lost more than ever
and i’m always without you
and the miles between us hurt me with something new
this is my life without you
you and i will never be the way i wanted us to be
i wish my feelings could be a song
maybe you’d be here singing
and i’ll draw a line
you and i will stand on either side
the line becomes a wall
and i will build the wall - things to forget
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things i have to forget
her smile, and the way she sings
and her loving touch, and waking up with her
each night was a thousand years
and still not enough time
if i was that flower she left in her pocket
i think i’d be fine
there is a dark sky
and a love that will never be returned
i can see her now with that knit cap
and her black hair hanging in her face
she’s somewhere else and happier there
so who i am to say what’s best for her
there is a point where fate takes control
do we really get what we deserve
about your smile as sweet as the day is long
i thought i might write a song
but that i found i could not do
so here’s a great big broken heart for you - the world spinning
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the world spinning, i wish i could stop time
from moving so fast
i can see the good things
though the good things never did last
nothing ever changes
because the bags were already packed
nothing ever changes
once i walked out the door i knew i wouldn’t be back
and oh, i just want you to know
i’m hoping for a new life
and i want it to be with you
i know i wrote a lot of songs that weren’t for you
and i held back a lot of things i should have said to you
you’re 300 miles away and i’m lost but you’re coming home
want to see your face from out of the crowd
and your eyes will shine on me and i’ll know
the world spinning, i wish i could stop time
from moving so fast
i would hold this moment forever and ever - promise me the moon
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if you promised me the moon i would wait for you
despite what any of my friends would say
and if you said you’d want to i would go back to you
because i don’t have the strength to stay away
if you said you were wrong, silver hearts are hung
i would apologize and go away
i can’t get through, i think i love you
but that’s a f***ing stupid thing to say
you said you didn’t want to marry
but i never asked you
and i think i will go this one alone
and i could try my best to love you madly
but i know this would still end badly
this house could never be a home
and i won’t wait for you
but i can’t move on from you
i know this is where i’m bound to die
i can’t get through, i think i love you
but that’s a f***ing stupid thing to say